Personal development

Fear of Speaking

For many years I’ve worked with people who are afraid of public speaking. I firmly believe this fear arises from an overabundance of self-consciousness. Which leads us to tonight’s email call for help.

Mr. Warfield,

I am willing to give anything a shot right now to make my ability to speak in public better. This is my last semester in college and I have to take oral communications.

My first speech was horrible. My voice cracked, I skipped half of my information (not because I didn’t know it but because I just wanted to be done), I literally felt like I was going to pass out.

I am a very shy and quiet person beyond public speaking. I have tried practicing on other people and in the mirror and I still have the same symptoms when I do that.

I have so much stress and anxiety built up because I HAVE to do this to graduate and I just don’t feel like I can. I mean how many people actually stess out and get nervous talking to themselves in the mirror. Please Help!!!

And I answer:

This really, really brings back memories because years ago I taught speech in college and often got people like you who waited till their senior year to take this course. One of my worst memories is having to flunk a senior who never showed up for class.

First, this type of anxiety is very common but arises from being too self-conscious. This level of self-consciousness comes from an inner self-critical voice that says, “why would anyone listen to me; I am not worth listening to”. The solution to this is some serious self-examination that may be beyond the scope of passing your class.

So I will make some practical suggestions for speeches but I STRONGLY recommend that you get some help in re-examining and re-assessing your self image for the long term or people will take advantage of you all your life.

Okay – this may sound over-simplified but one thing you must do is learn your material so well through extreme repetition that you could do it even if you DID pass out. This level of familiarity will help you keep going even when anxious.

This type of stress is generated by an overabundance of stress hormones (fight or flight) that can most easily be dealt with through activity. Schedule your speech first if possible and spend the time before class walking up and down stairs till you are winded.

This may seem strange but you are dealing with the physical effects of the stress hormones; combined with over-preparation of your material SHOULD allow you to get through your presentation.

Also remember that the people listening to you are in the exact same boat as you and, while it may seem a cliché, misery loves company.

Best wishes,

Hal Warfield